Good Monday Morning Peoples...
I took a brief break... Mental health time because sometimes you gotta just put yourself first. :-)
But now I am back & ready to get down to business. And with that here is one word Mondays....
Todays word is Marriage.... (thank you Kim Kardashian...)
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, November 7, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
If you don't do it someone else will......
This blog has sparked a number of conversations between my friends/family and myself and a few times people have asked me for advice. By no means am I a relationship expert. I can only tell you what I think I would do in certain situations or using the blog I can post it & let you guys give your opinions. Well I had a very interesting conversation with a friend the other day about lack of sex/intimacy in their marriage. Now before I start let me just say that I know both wife & husband and am cool with both so I am not taking sides...
In a nutshell the wife feels that her husband is always nagging her for sex. She feels that it's all he ever talks about & wants. The husband states that he loves & naturally desires his wife. He says he feels rejected when she denies him and feels inadequate or like he is doing something wrong.
Now as the title states my first instinct is to tell the wife now if you don't bone your husband someone else will so get on it..TWSS But that isn't going to help anyone & it's just mean.
First off I think something is going on with the wife to make her not have any sexual desire. From what I know of her she has ZERO sex life & never wants to do it. She claims she's always tired from work, the household chores and dealing with their daughter. This is understandable but even on days when there is nothing to be done & grandma is babysitting there is still no desire on her part. She claims that she loves her husband and is totally attracted to him but she doesn't feel the need to be intimate with her husband.
The husband loves his wife. He is completely attracted to her and all he wants is to have sex on a consistent basis. He's not asking for it everyday but it's come to a point where he can't even get it on major holidays. He doesn't want to end his marriage and and doesn't want to cheat on his wife but he is at the point where he's given up on ever being intimate with his wife. And again while sex isn't everything it is a very important part of a relationship. I think that if I wasn't able to connect with my husband on that level we'd have issues. But again I can't help but think there is something deeper. A deeper issue that is the root for a lot of the feelings both of these people have. And I think it needs to be explored.
What say you blog family? What do you think you would do in this situation? How would you handle it? Do you think it's normal?
In a nutshell the wife feels that her husband is always nagging her for sex. She feels that it's all he ever talks about & wants. The husband states that he loves & naturally desires his wife. He says he feels rejected when she denies him and feels inadequate or like he is doing something wrong.
Now as the title states my first instinct is to tell the wife now if you don't bone your husband someone else will so get on it..TWSS But that isn't going to help anyone & it's just mean.
First off I think something is going on with the wife to make her not have any sexual desire. From what I know of her she has ZERO sex life & never wants to do it. She claims she's always tired from work, the household chores and dealing with their daughter. This is understandable but even on days when there is nothing to be done & grandma is babysitting there is still no desire on her part. She claims that she loves her husband and is totally attracted to him but she doesn't feel the need to be intimate with her husband.
The husband loves his wife. He is completely attracted to her and all he wants is to have sex on a consistent basis. He's not asking for it everyday but it's come to a point where he can't even get it on major holidays. He doesn't want to end his marriage and and doesn't want to cheat on his wife but he is at the point where he's given up on ever being intimate with his wife. And again while sex isn't everything it is a very important part of a relationship. I think that if I wasn't able to connect with my husband on that level we'd have issues. But again I can't help but think there is something deeper. A deeper issue that is the root for a lot of the feelings both of these people have. And I think it needs to be explored.
What say you blog family? What do you think you would do in this situation? How would you handle it? Do you think it's normal?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
You get out what you put in...
As you all know I recently got married. I am very happy in my relationship and have been so for quite some time. But as I was discussing with some friends on Friday evening relationships are hard work. Marriage is probably the hardest job I've ever accepted. Throw kids into it and it makes it that much more difficult. As a wife there is a constant struggle to get everything done at home, with the kids, at work & then focus on your husband. As much as most of us don't want to admit it once in a while something gets neglected. And as much as we really hate to admit it most of the time its our husbands. I made a secret promise to myself on my wedding day as I got dressed to invest in my marriage & not neglect my husband. I figured that if I put in the work I'd get that much more out of it. As I was discussing with my friends its not soo much about having problems but you want your mate to want you & desire you just as much as you want & desire them. Sometimes the simplest of gestures can accomplish that. One thing my husband & I try to do at LEAST once a month is date night. We get a babysitter, get dressed up & go out. We do dinner, movies, a bar, a club, we've even gone to a cigar bar to have a cigar & a glass of wine. We try to make things different each time. During all the other times or when we can't find a babysitter we put the baby to sleep & have date night in the living room. Break open a bottle of wine. Turn off all the lights & cuddle on the couch watching a movie.
Now in my discussion on Friday we touched on two suggestions that I hadn't put a lot of thought into but are now sounding really good to me. Counseling & retreats. One wife talked about how her & husband were going to start going to a marriage counselor that a friend recommended. I wondered if she was having problems in her marriage. Almost instantly she said no we're going to prevent problems. We're going to learn more about each other and how to develop our relationship deeper... (SOMEONE SIGN ME UP..lol) and another one spoke about a marriage retreat. This is one weekend a year that her & her husband go away on a marital retreat to get in touch with each other & reconnect. AGAIN a great idea..
So now blog family since my quick conversation sparked a few great ideas on how to invest in a long happy marriage what ideas do you have to keep things interesting? What work do you and your mate put in? Is there anything that you have wanted to try that you haven't?
Now in my discussion on Friday we touched on two suggestions that I hadn't put a lot of thought into but are now sounding really good to me. Counseling & retreats. One wife talked about how her & husband were going to start going to a marriage counselor that a friend recommended. I wondered if she was having problems in her marriage. Almost instantly she said no we're going to prevent problems. We're going to learn more about each other and how to develop our relationship deeper... (SOMEONE SIGN ME UP..lol) and another one spoke about a marriage retreat. This is one weekend a year that her & her husband go away on a marital retreat to get in touch with each other & reconnect. AGAIN a great idea..
So now blog family since my quick conversation sparked a few great ideas on how to invest in a long happy marriage what ideas do you have to keep things interesting? What work do you and your mate put in? Is there anything that you have wanted to try that you haven't?
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